yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
