perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
