I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
