Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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