We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize