We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you win again, gameday.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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