I will die if light touches me.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
