im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
