She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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