girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize