You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize