I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
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