her vagine was all disorganized.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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