dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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