fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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