weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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