i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
only you would photoshop your dick
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
