Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
