peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
