i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
