chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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