I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im holly from the hills drunk
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
