I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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