You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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