hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please come you make the beer taste better
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
