shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
