I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize