I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
