No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just invented taco cereal.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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