His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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