im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
