i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
