Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
