i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
