At least make sure they are 18
Why
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
