yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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