You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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