I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize