so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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