Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Life without a bra equals bliss.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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