you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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