The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
