An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
