so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
