trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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