i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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