My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize