A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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