I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
