He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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