i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
