my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
