My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
