I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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