i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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